Sunday, April 26, 2015

All Too True Altruism?

      Good evening folks! Hope all is well in the life department. Tonight is gentle and breezy with a high chance of contentedness. I'm settling in with a dose of tangible serenity and a balanced temperament. The air is calm and the night is warm. Beautiful writing weather, indeed. (Before you start reading, I'll add in parentheses that the reason I often put certain words inside of quotation marks is because these words have different meaning for different readers, and since I aim to write for a general audience I want each individual to get the most out of my writing as possible) 
      I find the subject of altruism to be highly intriguing and one of undeniable relevance to matters concerning the whole of society and all general things. In a book I read recently, I came across an interesting concept that introduced a whole new way of thinking about altruism and the individual's perspective of "everyone else." Most conversations I have had so far in my "young" life related to altruism have been simply surface speculation and depthless debate, but I would like to go a bit deeper than that in the privacy of my own blog. Here is the quote I was speaking of directly from the book--
     "You would die because altruism is an egotist's crowning glory, and you're a deeply egotistical man. Nothing appeals more to a man's self-importance than martyrdom, and you've always had a very high sense of your own self-importance." 
     I have heard this sort of argument against the genuineness of altruism in different forms by pessimists in my life, just never in this eloquent of a structure. I do not believe we are all inherently good, but I don't believe we are inherently bad, either. I believe we are both because they both exist in the consistency of their truest forms. This statement from this book immediately arouses debate in my mind. First of all, if this sort of claim about "goodness" was in fact verifiable, wouldn't it be acceptable for the idea of martyrdom to cause feelings of elation and an elevated sense of self-worth? Would some of us crave martyrdom for the simple display of our "goodness" to the rest of the world? It doesn't seem logical for feelings of self-importance to automatically be associated with selfishness, after all don't we promote these feelings as necessary to live a "happy" life? And then when we experience these feelings, we are deemed conceited or a person flawed with a superiority complex. Perhaps some of us are convinced that a portrayal of innate benevolence would simply reveal us as we truly are--miraculous constructs of seemingly contained energy that is designed for the renewal and maintenance of other energies, including that of our host planet and all of its biological products. 
      Is a desire for martyrdom permissible so that others see the release of a pained yearning that dwells inside the hearts of the truly brave? I believe that it is permissible. If someone selfishly, selflessly gives themselves away for the good of others, then I see it as the opposite of vanity- vanity's opposite being of humble origin, the result of the unpredictable yet predictable galactic marriage of chaos and order. A person is capable of taking a life due to a completely selfish pretense; it would only make sense for a person to be capable of giving their life because of a fundamental lack of "self-importance." 
      I would argue for the evolutionary side of the debate about altruism also but I feel that side is more easily proved yay than nay. Anyway, I suppose that's enough for us all to chew on tonight and I look forward to more chatting and RaMbLinG as always. :)                  -Gnight folks!

Monday, April 20, 2015


Hope everyone is well tonight! (or day depending on where you are in the world.) Soo I want to get some of my stuff out there that I have written recently in a notepad on a jaunt or another such venture. Thanks for reading in advance :) Here comes randomness in many forms of the written English language. Keep in mind also that most of my writing is done in different accents, I only write as I hear the words spoken in my head, in whatever way they are spoken in.

"Trajectories of a broken past life shoot through my present like a million tiny arrows, nearly translucent images make themselves known in the back of my mind, barely detected but not entirely apparent. Here, the battle begins."

"Self-prep Talk" 
     "Resilience. Determination. Humor. The ability to keep ya wits about ya. These are all the things ya gotta have to make it in this world. To get a ticket to ride, ya gotta earn ya seat. To flow with the dojo ya gotta create ya own mojo. The majority, they're the ones ya gotta impress. Takin' steps to deal with that stress. Ignore the tension. Swim through the red tape, navigate the given landscape. Go ahead and tear down those dilapidated structures; build upon them anew eh? I admit, these old eyes are delighted to witness the ingenuity of some."

"Life is pretty much nothing but a serious of challenges that all have one common element-to be a fiend or not to exist as such? To not be fiendish, once having tasted, is a spectacular conquering in and of itself, my friend."

RAW-written whilst having a nice seat on a warm bench in a park by a lake I had biked to
"I lovingly caress this page with my words. I take into account all things. I want to sit on a mountain for days in silence, with nothing but the sounds of nature blessing my ear with sweet nurturings. Noise pollution. Yek. My mind is my sanctuary. There, I can run and hide and be safe. Just as I have done time and time again. This life is one I have CREATED for myself. Noone will slow my momentum. My most dangerous adversary is indeed myself. The inertia, however, is innate in me. It is written in my DNA to forget and to flourish. The sun lightly lays a hand on my back and reassures me. It is an absolutely wonderful and strange planet we live on. Noone will take this time of discovery away from me, not even my mother and father. NOT. ANYMORE.
Used to feel so much turmoil. So much hate. For now it is successfully stored away. Put in a box inside me and tucked underneath my lungs. At this moment, everything is bliss. For now, all bad things are cast away. I choose what goes in my cast-iron trap of a mind. I. CHOOSE. And most importantly, I love. I see. I know. I look forward to the undoubted recycling of my essence throughout this incredible multiverse."

This little quote I might dub something like- "Aspirations of the Robust Kind"
      "I attempt to adhere to the codes and guidelines my higher self has rendered necessary to adhere to. I grasp for the shreds of light and ultimate design I know to be present in my perspective existence. 2015? The year of preparation indeed? I do believe so my friends, I do believe so."

Okay folks well tis all for now, thank you so much for reading my silliness. :D

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Livin dat LIFE :P

       I feel so full of positive energy I had to write. Learning to let go and trust yourself is such a beautiful and inspiring process. I came up with a quote I will affirm all day long: "You don't have to appreciate the person, you just have to appreciate the purpose they served in your life." This concept gives me such comfort; I feel exalted! (Not in a presumptuous way of course) Cutting negative energies out of my life has been such an essential change that I needed to make in order to keep my sanity. After all I haven't made the decision to be a therapist as far as I know and I sure as shit am not getting paid for it. Haha. I suppose I should give a tiny bit of my history in order to explain this exalted state after purging negative influences from my life. You guys have to know a bit about me in order for my ideas to have any credibility, right?
      I became my mother's mother when I was 9 years old. Emotionally and mentally, I was no longer a child after that point. I've been in and out of foster care and various institutions and was dangerously addicted to cocaine at the age of 15. All 3 of my immediate family members are addicts. Although I don't think the word "addict" even cuts it, my parents are and were slaves to their addictions. Literally, I've seen my mom more fucked up than most heroin addicts get more times than I can begin to count. After the age of 9, I was surrounded by addicts and had to go in to survival mode up until a couple of years ago when I finally got away from them. Anyway, I always knew my brother would have a harder time getting out of it than myself because he could never entertain himself. In my opinion that's a telltale sign of someone with an addictive personality. I emit my appreciation to the universe often for not inheriting the gene, and having the willpower and self-discipline to find other means of finding happiness. The gene compounded with a borderline personality is such a toxic combination.
        My brother has survived a heroin and meth addiction, has a child, and is 20 years old. He's somehow still an intelligent individual and I'm very proud of him for finding contentment in his work as a chef. It's a miracle he isn't dead. The same goes for me but I don't usually mull over that thought for longer than half a second. So to make a very lengthy story short, I can't have relationships with people that remind me of my parents at all. I just can't do it. Unfortunately in this day and age, this disease has a major grip on quite a bit of the American population. So that means for myself, be open but be wary of the vibe. I don't even have to talk with the person in question; it's like I smell it and am immediately repelled by the pungent stench of desperation. But on to lighter matters!
        With my love singing his favorite Chili Peppers songs in the background, I relish in the loveliness of this wonderful day in Florida. Oh, how he plays that guitar. Waking up earlier is really a key for a fulfilling day isn't it? I love it. I've already done yoga, gotten paperwork done, had a smoothie, gone for a bike ride, and made the most delicious meat-free breakfast (I'm a pescatarian so I only eat seafood), and it's only 1:30! Woo! Now to work on music before hittin' the ole' work grind. I'm a server by day and singer/aerialist/fire performer by night. I love both of my jobs. I think serving is a job that keeps your people skills sharp in a world of noncommittal, half-arsed conversations and blank, IPhone-imprinted, screen-staring faces. Serving has helped me with my speech too; I used to murmur a lot. Pardon me if I use an inexcusable excessive amount of semi-colons. I always got in trouble in English class for using too many. I just think they're so decorative. Hey thanks for reading and I'll talk to ya soon eh?! Cheese!

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Yoga-"the perfect dance"

         Good day to you all. :) I come from a pleasant place today but am eager to discuss yoga and why some Americans have such a fear of using their bodies to do anything other than work them to old age and death. Sorry to use such morbid terms but people can be so incredibly frustrating.  I know we can all be full of excuses but come on, isn't it the easiest thing in the world just to get on the floor and stretch? One would think people would be ready to just fling themselves on a mat and get to know themselves, (well that sounded quite randy didn't it? (Austin Powers voice)) but instead they content themselves with the telly or talking about things that aren't so important. If the word yoga scares someone, just use the word "stretching." A more lax and lazily implied definition is perceived here. My mom stretches in her bed 3 or 4 times a day, so its not even necessary to get on the ground. During the process of breathing into a stretch, we learn to focus on our postures and meditate. If a person commits to a stretch, the rest will follow.
         I think I'm coming up with a theory though as to why people think that one day they're just going to pop out of bed and have this itching, burning internal drive to be a yogic master. To be honest with you, some people don't. If you don't have the discipline to do it on your own its not just going to smack you in the face one day with a "get on that floor and do a headstand why don't ya!"
My theory on it-- Language. The English Language. I was listening to NPR one day and they were discussing the most fascinating truth which I had always presumed but never vocalized: that language affects how we think, how we behave, and how we live. The talk show host was discussing the fact that in America, people save less money when there is an apparent "tomorrow" involved. You see, how we perceive time affects how we perceive everything in a horizontal and linear sense. So yesterday, today, and tomorrow are separated in the English language and we see a timeline. But if we refer to "now" as the same as our "future" (which I try to keep a conscious practice of) then we will feel differently about today and more apt to take advantage of the sights and sounds and the health of our bodies. When I hear people say with a sigh "Yeah, I"m gonna start doing yoga" I want to say to them it is NOT that hard to just do it! Like Nike says, right? Just do it today and you will feel anew! Appreciate your body and love it and nourish it and get to know it and be your own doctor! It is such a fulfilling process. There is a flow that mimics the flow of the universe when we let go in a yogic practice. Yoga allows us to become our own teachers, something we are all seeking. It helped me cope with addiction, anger, depression, self-hatred, and stagnant thinking. I am a better person after each session. It never fails. I am better able to hone my skills and focus on discipline and conscious progress.  Just learning to trust one's own vessel is a divine journey, one in which we should all take part in. Yoga is the perfect dance, one that opens up doors to experience our true selves. Anyway tata for now folks! Thanks for reading :)

Sunday, January 18, 2015


Hello. My name is Julia and this is my first try at blogging. I've read very few blogs in my time so I haven't much to compare to, which is a good thing I suppose. After all, to be one's own "blank slate" can be ones own comeuppance. I have a deep love and appreciation for many things, but writing is the outlet with which I am most deeply connected. When I am writing I am meditating. When I am inscribing my thoughts onto something semi-permanent I find my "true self." The self I know that lies within the darkest depths of my soul. The self that is imprinted upon my physical body. The self that lies waiting.
I find this connection with my true self in one of two ways, the aforementioned and yoga. Through yoga I have discovered that I indeed have self-control and possess the ability to practice self-discipline. This discovery has been reviving and encouraging. My soul often exists in a state of unrest, which I am trying to combat with as much cardio, yoga, and healthy expression as possible. More cardio always helps, of course.
In my blog posts I don't intend to tell you my age or my particular hair color or what level of education I have achieved thus far in my life because I don't believe that any of these elements warrant a fair judgement of who I am.
My belief of my human state is this--
I believe I am a light being that has been manifested on this planet in a humanoid mobile observation unit for the sake of either my own "soul" or the "souls" of other beings that take up residence in this particular physical realm. I have faith in the universe because the universe proves its perfection in its divine marriage of chaos and order. Words flow from me now as I believe I am connected with my higher consciousness.  
Do you think its possible for the collective consciousness to manifest itself into one human being? A global perspective, I have always theorized. If we could all but see that there is only One consciousness that is fragmented into seemingly separate but equal parts. Like the thousand segmented eyes of a fly, each ommatidium having its own private nerve ending connecting to a single optic nerve. It all comes from one source, and that is everything that the multiverse is made of.
Anyway that's all for now and I look forward to our next meet. I'll be thinking and breathing 'til then. :D cheerios!